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Random Memories

Random Memories : A new themed series inspired by Mindy’s cool new series of “Confessions” and “I Love That!”

The Ball Pit

It was the first time in my life that I saw a ball pit in person. I was about 7 or 8 years old. I knew they existed, of course, I had seen them on TV. But there were no ball pits in the little village where I grew up. There weren’t even any parks back then. Just houses and woods, an old decrepit community center which my mom was the general manager of for a few years, more woods, and a church. I don’t remember exactly where we were, but I was with my parents, my brother, a couple of my parents’ friends and their kids. It might have been Bathurst or Moncton. It was in a food court type thing, or maybe a McDonald’s.

My brother and I look up at the monster play thing that constains the ball pit. Woah! It’s huge. It’s so colorful. It looks like so much fun! We could barely stand to wait and follow the shoe removal and storage instructions, we were so excited! My brother climbs the little ladder, jumps in the ball pit, and shrieks with glee. He immediately makes friends with the other kids. They’re all having loads of fun, crawling over the balls and lying in them and screaming. I turn my head around and give my mom a hesitant look, and she yells at me: “GO! Your brother is too little to be in there by himself!” And she pushes me in the ball pit.

I fall in the ball pit and promptly sink to the bottom. I already weighed as much as an overweight adult. I remember the school nurse weighing each of us and calling my parents with concern over my 171lbs weight. My grandmother was visiting and answered the telephone. She explained to the nurse that my parents were never home so that she might as well tell her why she was calling. She did, and my grandmother tore her a new one. I remember her yelling at the nurse : Leave her ALONE! Everyone in our family is fat, it’s not her fault! She barely eats! God rest grandma’s soul… I barely ate… in comparison to the rest of my obese family maybe hehe.

So there I am, stuck in the ball pit with balls up to my armpits. I try to climb to the top, to throw balls out of the way, and I finally manage to get back to the edge, out of breath and my little heart racing. I was hanging on to the mesh sides for dear life and yelled “MOM!… MOM!” I could see her eating french fries and having a grand ol’ time with her friends, trying her best to ignore my cries. (I don’t blame her, she probably thought I wanted her to hear some mundane detail about the ball pit or something.) Finally she must have believed the desperation in my voice and came over.

She said: “Well, what are you doing? Go on, Play!” I looked at her and said: “How? What am I supposed to do in this?” I take a ball in each hand and throw them up in the air, then shrug, clearly demonstrating boredom. She laughed and said: “Okay, you can come out then.”  I didn’t tell anyone that day why I hadn’t liked that torturous ball pit from hell. And I never went in another one ever again!

The one good thing about crazy PMS :

Cleavage!! Even though I’m wearing a pancake booby sports bra, when I go to the washroom and bend to reach the soap/sink, I can’t stop looking at my little cleavage! What? You’d do it too :P

Protected: Ridiculous Update….

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I’ve got nothing to say…

But I’ll blog anyway because I don’t want to work (I just want to bang on my drums all day!) and I’m killing 10-15 mins before I leave to pick up Steph on the way home.

Updates :

Twinrix update : We chose to just get the darn vaccine and stop fretting over it. I got them today at Costco where they were only 50$ a shot woot! (Compared to 80$ at some places) And it has to be refrigerated and even gave me a cold pack to transport it back to the fridge at work. Good thing we’re in the minuses or I’d be paranoid about it getting too warm. We’re going to get the first shot tomorrow morning at 9am. The next shot on March 10, and the next one 6 months later.

Gym update : You all already know, but our gym memberships had expired so we went and rejoined. But instead of paying a lump sum for a definite amount of time, we joined via payroll deductions that Steph’s employer offers, so we don’t have to worry about it expiring, yay!

Emotional basket case update : I’m freezing, I’m bloated, I’m crampy and my boobs are tender. Yep… phew. I think I’m not really mental.. yet.

Smartest Loser Gala Update : I think we’re definitely going. I think we’d regret not going. I might possibly post dress pictures the week before to get your opinions on which one to wear.

Questions :

Random question for cruisers : When you get off the boat in port, what do you bring off the boat with you? passport? money? cards? camera? What do you do with all that stuff while partaking in water activities?

Hair : What should I do with mine? You’ve seen it in the recent pictures… it’s just shoulder lenght, blonde/caramel highlights, dull, thin, fine, and blah. I’m thinking maybe long layers ? (NOT the darn Rachel they keep doing to me)

Foundation : What do you use for a foundation? I kinda liked my Physician’s formula mineral powder… but you know me.. I love trying new things, and I have to buy something else even though this one is still half full, because I realized this week that woah, I’m kind of pale (winter) and that foundation is now way too dark for me. (I discovered one morning at work that I had the ‘foundation mask’ eeeek!!)

Hmm, really? – The Great Minds Advice Test…

Your result for The Great Minds Advice Test…

Do Good Works

50% Mother Teresa, 8% Franklin, 17% Freud, 8% Wilde and 17% Leonardo!

Your life advisor is Mother Teresa. She has the philosophy of living life by a spiritual commitment for the benefit of the masses.

With this in mind you may be well served to do more charity work and live your life simply with regard not to self gain but to do what is best for those that are less fortunate than you.

Remember to greet each person you meet with a smile. Love of others is your goal.

Take The Great Minds Advice Test at HelloQuizzy

Tough Love

I was in a bad place. I was stuffing my face with stuff that I knew I shouldn’t have been eating. I was drinking wine almost every night, and justifying it to myself by thinking of the handful of people I know that seem (keyword : seem) to be drinking wine pretty often. I was (honestly, as long as I’m airing my dirty laundry I might as well say it : am) smoking cigarettes (but definitely quitting again.) even though I definitely know better. I was spending lots of money that I shouldn’t have spent, on random things and activities, to try to feel good. It’s like when I just can’t keep up healthy levels of self-worth anymore, I try to get it from outside sources, which is completely ridiculous… I know that. But I seem to resort to my old ways before I realize what I’m doing.

The Smartest Loser2 Gala is coming up, and about half the SL1’s are attending. I’ve been really wanting to go, because 1 – I would love to see how they did 2 – I think it would inspire me to continue on the right track 3 – I miss my SL friends, and last but not least 4 – I’ve got plenty of dress options from all the 90% off dresses I bought for the cruise the other day at the ridiculous Ricki’s sale. BUT I was/am feeling horrendous about myself. I’m ashamed that I’ve let myself fall off the wagon and gain weight. I started probing around and asking other SL1’s how they’re doing with the weight loss, and everyone is also struggling. Except for Mr. Exception, who is doing phenomenal – Since the start of SL on May 7th 2008, he’s lost about 165lbs! Cah-razy! I couldn’t be happier for him.

Then, I talked to Lisa (A SL1er and SL2 Leader) and she told me : The gala isn’t about you anyway, get over yourself. Ouch. She specified that she was saying this in a loving way, but you know me, I’m so darn ultra-sensitive. I was a little livid and a lot hurt.

Last night, I decided that enough is enough, and we dragged our butts down to the gym and rejoined. When the sales manager saw that we hadn’t gone to the gym in months he said : That’s CRAZY. He didn’t add a polite little laugh at the end of that.

I think that although I’ve always thought that I couldn’t handle tough love, it might be working for me. I think that I’m fuled by hurt and anger. That’s what got me started on this journey for real in the first place. Remember when I was chosen to be a “Reality Bites” blogger on ivillage? Tina had told me “Nancy, are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, you know your track record.. you always quit..” Well I wanted to show her that I could do it and I guess I did/am. hehe.

I don’t know though… if anger and hurt fuels me, why wouldn’t I have been able to be successful all throughout my school years – definitely the most angry and hurt I’ve felt in my life because of all the teasing and bullying I was subjected to. Who knows… maybe the stars just aligned right again, but I feel like I’m back!

Turning 30 in Vegas…

Soooo even though I’ll only be ready to book (pay) for this in Aprilish… I’m already starting to get excited and starting to think about it more!

I’m thinking that what would work best for us is to go from August 13th to the 16th. (Thursday to Sunday) My birthday is on the 13th/Thursday, and Stephanie and Lee’s wedding anniversary is on the 15th.

I’m a researcher… I want to know exactly what we want to visit, where we want to eat, what we’re going to do, where we’re going to stay, and what exactly I want to be doing on the 13th for my actual birthday :)  (Or should we go up on the 12th and celebrate that night when I turn 30 at midnight?? Hmmm I wanted to TURN 30 in Vegas…) Should we go from the 12th at night to the 16th ?

Who’s coming??

So far, coming with us from here will be Guylaine & Serge and Stephanie & Lee. I haven’t convinced Sophie & Tim yet hehe.

Gym & Twinrix decisions

We finally received our passports in the mail today! Woohoo!! We’re officially free to leave the country at any moment! If we could afford to…  BUT my google trip countdown tells me that we’re leaving on our free cruise in 49 days! Le Woot!

About the Gym… I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that we’ve royally let our brand new shiny exercise habits slide. In fact, we haven’t done any intentional exercise since I don’t know when. Our gym membership ran out before Christmas. If we we had enough money to not fret over it,  there wouldn’t be any decision to be made. We would re-join the gym, and use our home gym as a supplement. But since in 49 days we’re leaving on our ‘free’ cruise for which we have to pay 1 hotel night, drinks and excursions, and that in those 49 days we have miscellaneous expenses such as a retirement party, a baby shower, and other random stuff such as the Twinrix question.. which I’ll talk about in the next paragraph… we’re considering re-spiffing up our basement gym and using that full time, instead of the gym, until nicer/warmer temperatures return. Steph used to be adamant about his clear preference for indoor exercise, but last year, thankfully, he discovered that he also really likes exercising outdoors :) I can’t WAIT to be able to use the marsh trail, our bicycles, and nature parks again!

Pros/Cons basement gym list :

Pros : Saves us 110$/month which we don’t really have to spend, inclement weather can’t stop us from using the gym, resolutions people and packed gyms wouldn’t be an issue, I seem to work a lot harder in private, feel less self conscious, no waiting for machines.

Cons : Basically, the only con is that somehow telling other people that I’m training at home seems less ‘impressive/valid’ than me saying that I’m training at the gym… No eye candy…

Thoughts? Advice ?

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Twinrix :

Should we get twinrix, or not? I called and neither of us are covered for it for our insurance, so we have to pay full price for the injections. Thankfully, our family doctor doesn’t charge her own patients to administer the vaccine. (But my coworker had to pay 40$, I’m glad we don’t have to pay that!) I called around and the most expensive place sells Twinrix for 80$ a shot, and the best place is Costco’s pharmacy for 50$ a shot. ding ding ding! Winner! We need 2 shots each before we leave, and then one more shot a year later. So 200$ before we leave. I researched this to death online and by polling various people in ‘real life’. There are the people who say : Weeeelll, you’re going on a nice big cruise ship, the risks of contracting Hepatitis A or B are minimal, but there’s always the risk (contaminated water, ice cubes, swimming water, spa tools, caribbean vacation sex.. okay the last risk we don’t have to worry about hehe.) The other group is like : OMG it’s only 200$, why would you want to take a chance with your life for that? There are people like my coworker Sonia who, every time hears something I purchased or am purchasing regarding the cruise says  : Yeaaaah your cruise is starting to cost you a lot eh? I’m starting to think that she’s saying that with a tinge of jealousy… because really yeah.. we’re not rich and this was a free cruise… but that’s the point, this is a dream come true and I don’t know if we’ll ever  have the chance to go on another extravagant vacation like that… why wouldn’t I splurge on a 7.00$ sundress marked down from 75.00$, and a potentially life saving vaccine? GAH!! Again, if we had plenty of money, I wouldn’t even think about it… I’d just go get the darn shots.

Thoughts? Advice?